New Holiday Alert!

I am a super duper Mariah Carey fan. I know that's not exactly cool, but there is no part of me even remotely ashamed of revealing my insane love for that crazy bitch's music. I just dig the shit out of it. My first concert was her Music Box tour when I was like, 11 (thanks, Momma!) and I think I could karaoke about 90% of her musical catalogue. No one was happier when she made her Emancipation of Mimi comeback. Seriously, Mariah Carey is one of my top votes for living national treasure. That bananas voice aside, the woman is endlessly entertaining. Odd relationships with celebrities? Check. Duet with ODB and Boyz II Men? Yup. Bizarre marriage? Double check. Nervous breakdown? Check. More number one singles than fucking Elvis? Yeah, that too. Jesus, have you seen her Cribs episode? It is the most creepily entertaining profile to date. She walks on the balls of her feet the entire time, has at least four wardrobe changes and at one point, climbs into the damn bathtub with a towel on. It's fantastic. And remember the Honey video? Jesus, I love when this woman goes to work.

So, confessions of love and adulations of her insanity aside, I must admit that I've never been able to keep track of how old she is. My brother and I have this debate every time a new video premieres, and we just had it again while watching her newest video with TI (it's the MTVJams Jam of the Week). The discussion always goes like this:

"Dude, how old is Mariah Carey?"

"Fuck. I never remember."

"Me neither. Is she older than we think she is, or younger than we think she is?"

"I can't remember that either. How old do we think she is?"

"Shit. I don't know. I just know we're always wrong."

"Well is she 40 yet?"

"She has to be. I mean, by now? She must be."

"We do this every time."

"I know. Hang on. I'll look it up."

So I looked it up for the 82nd time, and discovered...Mariah is 38. Besides the fact that she looks incredible for 38, we realized that it's going to be a really big deal when she finally does hit the big 4-0. So in our house, we're going to celebrate. 40's for Mariah in recognition of her 40th. 40 ounces will be consumed, and a reasonable attempt made to watch 40 Mariah videos. When we run out of videos, we can always just YouTube the Cribs episode, and the time she went on TRL and freaked Carson Daly out by stripping and handing out popsicles or whatever the fuck she did. We will not, however, be watching Glitter. Even I can't get through that shit. And I've sat through Showgirls. Twice. I forgive you Glitter though, Mariah. Even national treasures make mistakes.

Anyway, you're all invited to participate. March 27, 2010. 40's for Mariah on her 4oth. Right. Were working on the exact title.