Friday, July 25, 2008

Duck You, NorthFace in July!


So today I witnessed a Duck Tour driver hit a truck, which subsequently hit a car, which all happened at a red light. While they were stopped there, the flourescent vest wearing driver of the car got out of his automobile and berated the shit out of the Duck Tour driver (not the truck driver who actually hit him). On seeing this, a Duck Tour participant stood up, leaned over the rail and snapped a picture of the driver getting screamed at. This all happened across from Fanieul Hall, and was the most incredibly perfect melange of Boston moments that I wish I could have frozen it, put it in a snow-globe and sold it to tourists and locals alike. So I was like 'today is awesome, everyone is awesome.

But then this happened: I was exiting the supermarket, with my armload of dogfood, hummus, apples, febreeze and the other weird shit I buy at the supermarket, I nearly walked smack into some of the yuppiest goddamn yuppies ever to walk the Earth. I could smell that they were yuppies even before I noticed the heinous Crocs on their feet or the awful RayBans they were sporting or the Jeep Liberty keys in their hands (I don't know why I've been picking on Jeep owners lately, I don't really mean to. One of my best friends drives a Jeep. I swear.) so I was all 'ew, yuppies' when I happened to overhear their conversation. The section I caught went a little something like this "yeah, so, you know, Chad was tired of his black NorthFace, so then he bought his grey NorthFace, and now..." Seriously? You're fucking talking about your North Face jackets? Do you have nothing else to fucking talk about? North Face jackets? Are you 15? Also, it's July. It's like, 100 degrees outside


Jesus. Go pack all your Crocs into your Jeep and drive it off a fucking cliff. I hate you.

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